Fred Allen Inspirational & Motivational Quotes

• Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They’re afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. – Fred Allen
• The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. – Fred Allen
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. – Fred Allen
• My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. – Fred Allen
• I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. – Fred Allen
• Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. – Fred Allen
• I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. – Fred Allen
• A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. – Fred Allen
• The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand. – Fred Allen
• Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. – Fred Allen
• An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. – Fred Allen
• California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange. – Fred Allen
• The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed. – Fred Allen
• I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap. – Fred Allen
• All I know about humor is that I don’t know anything about it. – Fred Allen
• I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. – Fred Allen